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QWould you call this a poem? And what do you think of it? Do you think its good?

His blood is heavy with virtue
As the sickle is at your back
Scrape and tearing his flesh
Infectious diseases are now putting in
His dying screams are like injections of adrenaline
Cold, spasms and erection private
I inject a poison that I prepared to perfection
I bite into his neck
The blood spilled in my mouth, down my throat
A taste like no other
This is my obsession

The depth of his blood almost as strong as his cry from
She begs to stop
But this is what I need
The shadows
What is left infesting your beauty
They bring me delight

I cut my hand
Shadows running inside my wound
Red blood turns black and sand all the time is
Thunder is shaking
I can hear God's wrath
The sands of time drain
This makes the earth quake
His pulse and starts to levitate off
Oh , father
What have I done ?
Surely you are not going to punish me for getting the sweet taste on my tongue
His eyes were wide and hisses like a snake
My fate is sealed ...

2 answers

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#1Tre\'Chon WilliamsAnswered at 2013-04-07 02:11:58
Gosh ... Not what I expected when I stopped ! It's dark , it's horrible , and could actually be pretty good . Spend time on it , by editing , classification of their line lengths and turn it into something delicious .
#2frostAnswered at 2013-09-08 06:28:44
Can I ask *what* you are writing about? It seems very dark and not very poetic. Sorry.
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Would you call this a poem? And what do you think of it? Do you think its good?

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